Early start

 Morning all :) I’m trying to get on some type of schedule- obviously not with blogging since I’m all over the place with my posts, but just in general. This morning I had the alarm set for 7 and got out of bed at 7:10, not too bad! First things first, get that coffee on and try to figure out what I’m having for breakfast- since I’m out of my usual yogurt :( Fortunately I had purchased some a bag of Bob’s Red Mill Gluten free pancake mix! I made one batch and added 1/2 each of frozen blueberries and raspberries and I have to say that I was pleasantly surprised with how yummy these were! Usually I don’t eat pancakes because they don’t keep me full for very long (unless I eat a butt load of them and feel like a fatty) It took me about an hour to get everything made but it was totally worth it. I topped two pancakes with Almond Butter and went to town- along with a hard boiled egg, and I’m full :) I will definitely enjoy the leftover cakes throughout the days to come..
   With coffee and cakes/egg in my tummy I was ready to practice some yoga. It’s been a little while because I was moving last week.. I only did yoga twice. That’s unacceptable! This morning was my first practice in the apartment and it was a pretty good one. I focused on lots of inversions as always- included forearm stand, head stand, and of course my all time favorite- handstand. In total my practice lasted about 40 minutes, which isn’t too bad in my eyes. Usually I don’t practice any longer than an hour in my home practice because lets face it- when your home things can get distracting.. I start to think about all the things I have to do in the day that lies ahead and its so much easier to just cut short my mat time. I don’t judge the amount of time that I spend on the mat and think that I should stay longer or work harder- most importantly I just want to get on the mat at least 5 times a week, and that can be for 10 minutes.. but it just important to get yourself on that mat. I don’t care if you do 5 sun salutes and call it a day… it’s still a yoga practice and you are creating a pattern!

Counting- on friends and buckets of change

   One of the more positive things about being on my own is really spending time with my friends. Often times James and I would just hang out together- because really he has been my best friend for the last 8 years. While I still consider him to be so, there has obviously been a drop in the amount of time we hang out. I’ve been hanging out with my other friends a lot- and I can’t begin to say how thankful I am for each and every one of them.. and the unique things they each have to offer. While having your partner spend dual duty as your BFF is wonderful it can also lead to an imbalance.. or more accurately it can sometimes be hard to determine when you are there for them as a partner or as a friend; it can be hard to separate the two. As I spend time with my friends now I realize how I split my time unevenly. I have never been the girl who invests %100 percent of my time into a guy- you know the type I’m talking about.. the friend who molds into whatever the guy she is with at the time.. I always tried to maintain my own persona. Ultimately James and I did mold into a unit… but not exactly him into me or me into him, more like a blend of the two into what we thought we wanted to be. Obviously if your a reader you know it didn’t exactly work the way we would have liked it to. I know that I miss him, a lot.
   As I look over my budget, I get a bit freaked out. There is only so much money a girl can make while working two waitressing shifts. I know this won’t be forever- the woman who is pregnant will be going out to have the baby very soon and I will pick up those shifts. Until then I’m spending my evening with a glass of wine and 4 change jars.. Rolling change takes forever- but it never ceases to amaze me how much cash can fit into these small jars! What am I going to do with the cash? Well there are some things that need to be paid- like my $200 speeding ticket from Nevada, and a new windshield before winter sets in. The windshield is going to run me about $250- which isn’t really too bad… but it would have been better if I didn’t have to pay for something that was a freak thing! No I don’t have enough change to pay for both, but it’s one step closer.
     I hate having to worry about every singe penny that I spend but I know that this is only temporary. Until I pick up the extra shifts I’m keeping myself on a strict food and gas budget.. That means no driving around to visit friends that live 20 minutes away.. and really using up the bags of rice I had kicking around. I’m allowing $25 for food this coming week (which I will shop for on Wednesday I think) and since I put $20 of gas in the car the other day, I’m making that stretch until next week if possible. So what am I going to spend that precious $25 food budget on? I’m keeping it super simple: yogurt, almond milk, broccoli, romaine lettuce and fruit. A few of the items will be bought in bulk (frozen broccoli 5 lb bag, and romaine 6 pack) to save some money. I will use the pantry items to fill out any meals as well. I have two gallon sized bags of protein/ raw food bars, 3 different kinds of rice, rice noodles, oat bran, gluten free pancake mix, 2 dozen farm fresh eggs from my friend Ryan (thanks!) almond butter, almonds and some seeds.
   The good thing about having limited resources for meals is that things are kept super simple which is what my body really likes anyway. Plus it’s kind of fun to get creative with spices and combos :)
    Well I’m off to roll that change- have a good night!

Boxed wine and 90’s television

What better way to start the weekend than a classy box of red wine? Talk about hitting the tap huh? CHUG!
A couple friends came over Friday night for what was supposed to be a “Coco is getting a new table for the apartment- let’s put the 300 pieces together!” Party.. However the purchasing of the table fell through - and we ended up drinking and watching “Salute your Shorts” Now for those of you that aren’t aware of this television show from 1991- get your butt over to google and figure out how you can get this show.. seriously- it’s one of the few shows that are actually as awesome as I remember.. It’s about a group of kids at summer camp.. it’s awesome.. it’s Epic.. just go find it..

source

Eventually- (and it didn’t take long) the wine hit me and I was feeling pretty good.. I can’t be held responsible for the  things I say and do when the wine has taken over. Luckily I didn’t get sick even though the room was spinning a bit and I felt like I would need to take a cold shower. Many, many, many episodes were watched and eventually I made it to my bed (also known as the massage mat on the floor) and managed to wake up Saturday without a hangover.. How on earth did I manage that?

I even made it to a pilates class- something I haven’t done in at least a month and a half.. so I was pretty proud of my self.. However since I hadn’t been there in forever, I totally sucked and was struggling to get my body to work properly.. especially when one of the students was asking me to demo forearm stand and scorpion first thing. I headed to my Melinda’s house for some much needed coffee and smoothie (which was also made with coffee- along with bananas, strawberries and chocolate soymilk- omg so good BTW) We headed out for some shopping- searching for an affordable kitchen table for me and work shoes for her. Ultimately we ended up getting appetizers and a bottle of wine which we polished off before heading back to her place.  We parted ways- I still have no table, but she was successful :)  I headed to Paula’s house- hung out and then headed back to my place to watch more 90s TV and have more of the SAME box of wine.. Dude.. there is 5 liters in there.. that’s like 4 bottles of wine- for $12.. I know, I know.. your jealous of the awesome-ness..
     After a good nights sleep- two pots of coffee and some breakfast- I took Hydro to Melinda’s house for a walk with her and her fur baby Daisy. We hit up the bike path and the kids swam in the pond.. Hydro has never been a dog to go swimming. He has literally done it with resistance like 3 times… but not today! Daisy loves the water and I think her swimming made him less scared! I was so proud- he’s actually living up to his name! He’s so exhausted- it’s pretty cute :)
    James and I hung out- he bought me dinner at a local Japanese place.. it was AMAZING! I ordered Veggie Pad Thai and ate it all.. No seriously.. it was so good.. I couldn’t stop myself. Then we got dessert.. I’m talking Fried bananas and vanilla ice cream. OMG.. It was really nice to hang out with James.. I really miss him. There is a really big part of me that wishes and hopes we get back together… He is an amazing guy- and I can’t imagine loving anyone as much as I have loved him for the last 8 years… I just wish it was easy..
   Well there you have it.. the cliff notes of the weekend… Funny that the box of wine is still going strong.. I’m still drinking it right now!

Carpet picnics?

     Buying a kitchen table has proved to be a pain in the ass.. Plain and simple. I don’t have the actual cash to buy it myself- and my mom offered to get something for me, or more accurately asked if I needed anything. I initially said no- I have never asked either one of my parents for anything since the day I moved out.. The way I see it, I’m on my own- meaning that even if I have no food, I’m not asking for anything.. True story: When I moved out to my first apartment, things were super tight. I had under $20 for food each week.. we ate a whole lot of pasta and shopped in the reduced section. Fortunately I worked at a cafe at the time and could take bagels and pastry at the end of the night that would otherwise get tossed. My dad came to visit and we had close to nothing in the fridge and pantry and was actually mad at me for not asking for money.. But I’ve always been too proud to say that I was failing. Long story short… we went shopping for a table (mom wasn’t actually planning on buying me anything, she was just offering things that were extra from when she and her husband moved in together, oops) I ended up finding one at Target that was pretty affordable- we went back to get it today and they didn’t even have any to sell.. in the entire state.. Seriously Target.. Why do you have it on display if I can’t even buy one!  I’ve decided that it is just not going to happen right now.. it’s not time for me to get a table and when it is- one will show itself to me.. hah- until then I’m going to carpet picnic it.. it works- and who knows I might just roll with that indefinitely..
    Hydro moved in yesterday (my youngest fur baby) and is totally loving that there is a run here for him. I think it’s going to take some getting used to, to be without Sammy.. But he seems to be loving getting all of the attention and going to car rides with me where ever I go. Even if it’s a short trip to the gas station or to get coffee, he loves being the center of attention. Who wouldn’t right?

   What seems to be the most interesting thing I’ve noticed since this whole transition has started is that I feel like a completely different person. I ultimately am the same girl- but it seems like my life has jumped tracks and I’m on a brandy new path. Maybe it’s my outlook on life- the fact that it’s too short to not follow your heart… But I have a whole new appreciation for the person that I am becoming- or maybe the person that I’m uncovering. I have a lot to offer someone- whether that be in friendship or in a relationship down the road.. It seems weird that I could give someone advice that would be beneficial- but really I’ve been through a whole lot in my 25 years of life. I know the struggles that I’ve been through and I know that I’m still and always will be working on those things- or maybe these things will shift and new things will show themselves that I will have to work on to work towards being the person that I want to be.. but I can see someone going through these things and be the person to them that Jason has been for me.. I will call you out on your shit and make you see that you have an amazing potential that you have yet to realize..
   

Moving days..

   I started moving stuff over to the new place Tuesday morning- after my bucket of morning coffee. Packing really hadn’t begun because I didn’t have any boxes and was waiting for a friend to grab some from work. I did have some stuff that I just shoved into the car, mostly kitchen stuff, bathroom/ shower stuff, and my thai massage mat/blankets to sleep on. I dragged my friend along to the store to get some last minute things and to hang out (she even made me lunch!) I unloaded a couple of car loads and hung out with some more friends (two friends, two separate hanging outs!) It was so weird to be in the apartment- alone.. I mean sure I had a friend hanging out.. but it was the first time in “my place”.. Weird.
    I ended up not getting much sleep- but I had to work at 8 so I dragged my butt out of bed with about 20 minutes to spare and pulled a fireman. As I was driving to work I looked over at the passengers side windshield.. and surprise surprise- there is a 7-8 inch CRACK!! I guess from the temp changes or whatever it cracked.. but seriously- My car is new(ish) and I still owe like half the amount on it! I do not have the time or money to fix this and I’m hoping that the insurance will cover the costs. So after freaking out about that for half and hour.. the work day started.. It was a slow day- which means, little money.. I’m not gonna lie- I’m freaking out about being able to afford everything on my own! I’m good with money but this is going to be pretty tight… Oh yeah.. in other news I am pretty sure I have pink eye and I’m going to try and make it through work- because there is no way I can not go in.. I am BROKE! haha..
   Its amazing how much money moving into a new place costs. I mean I’m not even going out and buying new furniture or anything like that.. I’m talking basics- cleaning supplies, stocking the fridge and pantry for the first time, area rugs- even though I haven’t bought much, I’ve still managed to spend a few hundred dollars.
   Candida cleanse update: The cleanse went quite well! I completed 12 days on the cleanse- steering clear of all fruit, sugar, gluten and processed foods. During that time I had gluten once- on eggplant parm, and a few bites of mango salsa.. otherwise I was super strict.. At this point I feel like it was beneficial- and have since realized how much gluten affects my body. Since eliminating it from my diet- I feel less bloated have had many fewer issues with gas and general belly discomfort. I have decided to stay gluten free! :) I’m not going to stand here and say that I’m never going to eat a piece of pizza when I’m out with my friends or on a special occasion.. but I’m going to avoid it- most of the time. The thing that I find interesting is how well my body seems to be running while eating the candida diet and I’m going to do my best to continue to loosely follow the guidelines. Except for the ice cream I ate the other night! (Ok here’s the deal.. I had been wanting and craving ice cream for days.. I’m talking 4-5 days! So I don’t feel guilty!)
    As of today I’m going to bring some lower sugar fruits back into my diet- berries, apples and pears. I’m still going to limit the amount that I eat pretty dramatically for a bit to see how well it does. I’m talking 1/4 cup of blueberries in my yogurt (OMG fruit is so amazing and I miss you so much!!!) and maybe half and apple or pear at a time. Plus this will help my small budget!
     Off to work to hopefully bring home some moolah!

Nerves

   During this shift in my life there has been a lot of questions surrounding what my next move should be. Most of this time I have felt like I’m floating around without a clue- without direction. I’ve been putting it out in the universe; It’s been the intention in my yoga practices (along with finding self confidence).  I’ve said it a million times- but I’m really excited to get my own space.. and I think that it’s going to bring some clarity to what my next step will be.
  It’s a double edged sword. As much as I can’t wait to have this space- I’m terrified that I will not be able to afford everything on my own. Everything is so very real now- as tomorrow I’m going to pay the rent through Sept. and get the keys. I’ll start moving stuff in right away- and while there isn’t really a whole lot of stuff.. it’s still going to take time- and effort. Unfortunately it’s going to cost some money- Area rugs, A bed, a kitchen table, basic supplies for kitchen/bath/cleaning and living room stuff. AHHH so much stuff- so little money!!! It’s going to be a welcome challenge- let’s see how much I can stretch a dollar :)
   So if you have any tips or tricks for me I’m listening!!

Push your limits- Handstands!

 After months and months (ok more than a year) of consistent practice- I have just held a freestanding handstand for 15 seconds! I know that doesn’t seem too impressive or even that difficult, but believe me- when you have a super flexible, bendy body it is! I have always been able to come into a handstand for a second or two- or hold it for a long time against a wall.. but the freestanding handstand has been something that I have been working on forever! Each time I practice yoga at home I do a handstanding section where I try to get into and hold a handstand 20 times. Now sometimes that means I just get up there and come right back down- sometimes I don’t even make it up, but just the action of trying to get into it- and come down with control,  is great practice. Learning to handstand is all about the numbers.. The more you try the more likely you will have success.
   A great example: My friend Flip and I drove cross country just a month ago as you remember… and at each and every stop on the drive out we had decided that we would do conditioning.. That included 10 handstands at first, along with some other things like planks, hollow body holds, rolling vinyasa’s (All things I will show you at some point soon) After the first few times- we amped it up and did 20 handstands at each stop- I have video of us doing them at 4 in the morning after I had just driven for 4 hours and wanted to kill her for holding me accountable and making me do it. We did over 140 handstands in total- that was just what we counted!
   Sure, handstands aren’t for everyone- but they are one of my favorite things to do.. Yes I can’t always do them as well as I hope.. but I have seen so much improvement and look forward to being able to hold them for 30 seconds at a time, every time. In your yoga practice sometimes you can get bored… Yes I’m saying it, BORED. I mean let’s get real here for a second- you can only do so many sun salutes, warriors and vinyasa’s- before you are looking for something to challenge you (Maybe its just me?) I think for me because I teach I get burned out pretty quickly and don’t really get why people like to stay in their comfort zone- well duh, it’s comfortable! However my personal philosophy is about pushing limits and questioning everything- it’s the only way to grow! While I encourage my students to do the same, I really try to hold myself to impossible standards in an effort to achieve greatness, whatever that might be.
   So I challenge you- Take a look at yourself. Are you pushing yourself and your limits each and every day? 


Do you ever practice handstands? Did you do them as a kid? I call myself a backyard gymnast. Although I took gymnastics for a little bit as a kid- I would mostly just flip around on my own.. To this day I’m always working on my “skills” which sometimes means I fall flat on my face- or entertain random drunk people at parties, haha. Heck, sometimes I’m the one half in the bag which is why I’m jumping and flipping around in the first place!
Do you have any backyard gymnastical skills?