Friday, September 9, 2011

Carpet picnics?

     Buying a kitchen table has proved to be a pain in the ass.. Plain and simple. I don’t have the actual cash to buy it myself- and my mom offered to get something for me, or more accurately asked if I needed anything. I initially said no- I have never asked either one of my parents for anything since the day I moved out.. The way I see it, I’m on my own- meaning that even if I have no food, I’m not asking for anything.. True story: When I moved out to my first apartment, things were super tight. I had under $20 for food each week.. we ate a whole lot of pasta and shopped in the reduced section. Fortunately I worked at a cafe at the time and could take bagels and pastry at the end of the night that would otherwise get tossed. My dad came to visit and we had close to nothing in the fridge and pantry and was actually mad at me for not asking for money.. But I’ve always been too proud to say that I was failing. Long story short… we went shopping for a table (mom wasn’t actually planning on buying me anything, she was just offering things that were extra from when she and her husband moved in together, oops) I ended up finding one at Target that was pretty affordable- we went back to get it today and they didn’t even have any to sell.. in the entire state.. Seriously Target.. Why do you have it on display if I can’t even buy one!  I’ve decided that it is just not going to happen right now.. it’s not time for me to get a table and when it is- one will show itself to me.. hah- until then I’m going to carpet picnic it.. it works- and who knows I might just roll with that indefinitely..
    Hydro moved in yesterday (my youngest fur baby) and is totally loving that there is a run here for him. I think it’s going to take some getting used to, to be without Sammy.. But he seems to be loving getting all of the attention and going to car rides with me where ever I go. Even if it’s a short trip to the gas station or to get coffee, he loves being the center of attention. Who wouldn’t right?

   What seems to be the most interesting thing I’ve noticed since this whole transition has started is that I feel like a completely different person. I ultimately am the same girl- but it seems like my life has jumped tracks and I’m on a brandy new path. Maybe it’s my outlook on life- the fact that it’s too short to not follow your heart… But I have a whole new appreciation for the person that I am becoming- or maybe the person that I’m uncovering. I have a lot to offer someone- whether that be in friendship or in a relationship down the road.. It seems weird that I could give someone advice that would be beneficial- but really I’ve been through a whole lot in my 25 years of life. I know the struggles that I’ve been through and I know that I’m still and always will be working on those things- or maybe these things will shift and new things will show themselves that I will have to work on to work towards being the person that I want to be.. but I can see someone going through these things and be the person to them that Jason has been for me.. I will call you out on your shit and make you see that you have an amazing potential that you have yet to realize..

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