Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Fire in my heart

    60 minutes of yoga can be so many things. It’s a good stretch out for over worked muscles as well as a workout. Static vs. dynamic- static poses are always more challenging for me. I am almost never static. Even when I sleep I’m in constant motion. I have always been hyper active, though I keep that activity at bay by working out, and believe it or not chewing gum helps me tremendously. Little known fact- during my swimming career you would never find me without a piece in my mouth. I chewed gum during each and ever single practice- the only time in the water without a piece was durning a race! Long hours doing laps can cause the mind to wander and if your like me it’s sounds like a pin ball machine in there.. Bouncing from one thought to the next. That habit has followed me well into my adult years- practicing yoga, slacklining, going to the gym- all include my chewy mint friend.
    While practicing a few moments ago I really came to understand something; I can never be still. In my yoga I am constantly shifting, adjusting and focusing on everything else besides what I’m doing. Sure I am really good at getting my body contorted and picture perfect in these postures- but try to get me to hold them for more than a few breaths and I’m all over the place. This is something that I’m working on in all aspects. How do we gain the power to control the brain? Controlling the body is a piece of cake in comparison.
   I’m not the typical yogi. I drink coffee, swear, occasionally drink alcohol, smoke herb, I do not meditate (can’t sit still long enough)... but I do have the ability to by completely dynamic. I can flow through postures- I have a great sense of moving meditation- which is why slacklining is the best thing in the world for me. At this point in my life and my practice I can’t tackle mastering the mind- and I know few in the world really have- but I am not even there yet. I have done everything to try and master the physical part of my practice, again there is so much to work through, but it come more naturally to me.
   So what am I getting at? Well there are a few things- Acceptance is one. I have accepted that this is a life long journey that I am on- one that I will stubbornly pursue and one that I will never conquer.. and that is ok. Two is to gain the knowledge that who I am, my person- my practice- my quirks- are beautiful. Though I may not see it or truly believe this 80% of the time I need to remind myself that I am who I am for a reason. Yes I’m not typical- but I don’t want to be. I am special as is each and everyone of you out there. We are who we need to be. And that is good enough for me.    

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