Saturday, January 14, 2012

The truth and the difference.

 The truth is I struggle daily with my body issues. The difference is I won’t let them define me. The truth is I am working "to love me for who I am”.. The difference is I still struggle with allowing the number on the scale define who I am and how I feel.
    This morning I weighed myself for the first time in weeks. I hadn’t done it- because I was scared. The truth is I can look in the mirror and stare at my reflection and think that I look beautiful..But the difference is I don’t FEEL beautiful. The truth is that statement is incredibly sad, but the difference is that its what I actually believe.
    The truth is I go to the gym, I eat very well, I see that my body is changing ever so slowly… but the difference is that I seem to forget all of that as son as I step on the scale and read the number.. For as long as I can remember this is my truth.  The truth is I am scared that I will never be happy with who I am.. but the difference is that I will not give up. I can’t give up. I can’t let this awful being that has lived inside me for over 15 years win.

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