Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Over thinking

   I’ve started to post at least 5 times since my last update- but each time I get a paragraph or two in- I start to change my train of thought. Then I realized that this was the problem.. I was over thinking everything that I wanted to write about- and what I had started seemed like it didn’t make much sense- or it was stuff that I have already mentioned a million times before. Each day I think about much of the same things- my relationship with James, my relationship with food, with my body, with my friends and family. Think. Think. Think.. Probably one of the biggest problems I face is the amount of time that my brain runs free thinking about each and every little detail…
    I’ve talked about the art of letting go a few times- it is certainly something that I have no mastered.. not even close.. but I work on it every single day. Over the last few days since I’ve posted- James and I have talked a lot. One of the main things that I’m working on is really being patient. This as you can imagine is also not an easy thing for me to accomplish. Truth is- I want things done in my time…
     I’m refocusing my energy where I can- by working out- and training Paula along with that, by reading books, by watching Felicity… I feel like it’s really a fine line between refocusing and ignoring… I’m grateful for my friends and the fact that they hang out with me daily and listen to my constant babble- and I’m thankful for Hydro- his fury face always brings me a smile. Truth is, I’m extremely lucky to have the people in my life- who love and care about me as much as I do them… without them I would be lost.
    Through all of this I’ve learned to depend on these people- but mostly I think I’m learning to depend on me. This has been a tough 5 months- I’ve learned A LOT! I hope to continue to grow and learn and be able to be a better person each and everyday :)

No comments:

Post a Comment